Thursday, March 22, 2018

He's Got the Blues

A few years ago our dog, Buttons, injured his back by jumping off my bed the wrong way.  It hasn't happened since then, until this past Monday.  My son and I came home from a meeting and found Buttons just huddled on the floor shaking.  I knew that shake wasn't fear, I remembered it from the last time he was hurt.

I made an appointment with Buttons' vet for the next day, and my son took him in to be checked.  Sure enough, Buttons had tweaked his back again.

It seems while at the vet however, Buttons didn't want to cooperate.  Understandable, as he was in pain and hasn't ever liked strangers touching him. He tried to nip at the vet and his assistants, resulting in him having to be muzzled.  Then when it came time to have his x-rays taken, the assistant put a pair of "doggles" over his eyes to protect them.  It was at that point my son decided he needed a picture of Buttons in his new attire, so he whipped out his cell phone, snapped a shot, and posted it on his Facebook page.

Though I felt bad for Buttons, I did think it was a cute pic of him.  The following day, I showed my co-workers the pic, and told the story of what had happened at the vet.  One of my co-workers, Jeanne, said Buttons looked like a blues singer.  The idea got stuck in my head and just wouldn't leave until I did something about it.  That "something" was to write a blues song for Buttons.  I then took the song to Jeanne, who became my co-writer, making suggestions of how to make the song even better.

Long story short, I decided to share Butttons' blues ditty with the rest of the world, (or at least my friends), via my blog page.  With that said, following is the pic and blues song it inspired.  When reading the lyrics, it's helpful to keep a common blues riff in mind; the one that's slow and goes, "duh duh...duh duh duh duh duh..."  (I tried to find a sample to put here, but had no luck.)  If you're not sure which riff I mean, I'm sure any slow, bluesy riff will work.  Enjoy!


Went to my doc
'Cause I had a pain
Doc told my owner
"He's got a strain"
"In his back"
"Same as before"
"He's got it again"

Oooooh yeah, I got it again.  (Pitiful howl)

Then that doc
Though I was sore,
He poked,
And he prodded 
Til I couldn't 
Take it no more

(Low growl)  No more, no couldn't take it no more

Went on the defense
Wanted him to stop
So I took a nip
At his fingers
Yeah that doc, 
He almost got bit

(Kind of snarling)  Oh, oh, oh, yeah, almost got bit

And in return
What did I get,
A blue muzzle wrapped 'round my lip
Yeah, a bright blue muzzle right on my lip

(A second of silence because of the muzzle, then restart)

But the doc,
He wasn't done yet,
Oh, oh, oooooh no, he wasn't done yet

Took x-rays 
Of my backside
But 'fore he did
Made sure I had
Doggles covering my lids

(Hoarse whisper)  Doggles, goggles for dogs

Oh yeah, he put doggles on my lids

Then to my dismay
See my owner
Aim his cell phone my way

(Pitiful howl)  Oooooh, no, no, no, don't do me this way

Didn't care
How silly I looked
Just snapped a pic
And posted it to Facebook

(Sad sound)  Put it on Facebook for all to take a look

(Moaning howl)  Oooooh the humiliation
(Moaning howl)  Oh, oh, oh, the shame
Don't think
No, don't think
I'll ever
Be the same

(Long, pitiful howl)  No, I'll never be the same

Yeah, I got me 
A bad case of
Those doggone
Blue muzzle
Doggle blues

(Low voice)  A bad, bad case of
(Low voice)  Those doggone
(Low voice)  Blue muzzle
(Low voice)  Doggle blues

(Go from low voice, to loud howl)  I said a bad case of
(Continue loud howl)  Those doggone
(Continue loud howl)  Blue muzzle
(Continue loud howl)  Doggle
(Pitch voice up to a howling shriek)  BAH - LOOOOO - ZZZZZ

Saturday, January 27, 2018

I'm Not Okay...But I'm Trying to Be...

I will be the first to admit, I'm insecure about almost everything.  I've always had those people in my life who have been my "sounding boards"; those individuals who will listen to you rant, rave, cry, complain, and also laugh and share the happiness in life, all without judgement. Even when I'm at a point where I sound narcissistic, these people know the real me enough to know that I'm really NOT that way.  That I DO care about others, how they feel, etc., almost to a fault, because I empathize with them.

Recently though, I've been going through a period where I've lost at least one of my sounding boards forever, my mom, due to Alzheimer's/dementia, (no more negativity around her, it affects her badly); and another at least temporarily, because of all the crap she's had to deal with lately.

In fact, part of why I'm writing this is because of not only what's going on with me, but with my friends.  It seems as though everyone I feel the closest to is going through a very rough time right now.  Friends with cancer, car wrecks, deaths, being hit by a car, you name it, and my friends are going through it; and handling it much better than me and what I'm going through.  At least that's been my perspective of late.  

Because I do care about my friends, but feel helpless in doing anything for them, I've shut down.  I stay to myself, because I don't want to start complaining about what I'm going through when they're having a rougher time than I am.  I want to be them, I want to be stronger, and do better, and not have to cry on someone all the time.  So, that's what I've been trying to do.  

In the process, I'm fairly sure at least one friend thinks I don't like them anymore, because I haven't checked in with them in months.  Meanwhile, I'm just plugging away, trying to get along and be strong like everyone around me seems to be.

I started noticing changes in myself, but ignored them as long as I could.  If I didn't acknowledge it, it would go away.  It didn't.  I remember at some point just posting this photo on Facebook, without saying anything about it.                                                                     
  I had friends who commented, asking if I was okay.  I realized then that all I'd done was draw attention to myself, which is what I was actually trying to avoid.  I private messaged those that asked, and was honest, I said no, I'm not okay.  Guilt at admitting that much however, (because I was still trying to be as strong as I perceived those around me to be), kept me from going into any details.  I decided at that point, no more posts on Facebook about it.  If someone asked, I'd be honest and say no, I'm not okay; but wouldn't allow myself to go into details.  It was my compromise with myself.  Another part of the compromise I made, I realized later:  I'm down, and broken, but I'm not crazy.  Yet, those who don't know me may think I'm crazy.  Despite everything, and generally not caring about things anymore, I still care what others may think about me.

At the same time this was going on with me, one of the guys I listen to on the radio in the morning, Tony Russell, of Tony, Jake and Jenn, (98.7 The Bull in Portland, Oregon), was always talking about the divorce he was going through at that time.  I haven't met Tony yet, but listening to him on the air talk about his troubles somehow comforted me.  There was one time I especially connected with something he said, about just starting to cry for no reason, no matter where he might be.  THAT was exactly what was going on with me as well.  
Then, earlier this week, Tony was talking on the air about how there'd been a complaint from a listener specifically about him.  This listener stated that they didn't want to hear about Tony's "train wreck of a life".  Tony wasn't upset about the listener's complaint, however, he did feel compelled to write a post about it on his blog on the station's website. Of course I had to read his post; I had to see what his response to this person was going to be.  Until then, I hadn't even considered that what I felt comforted by, and not so alone, would be annoying to someone else.

After I read it, I emailed Tony, asking if I could put a link to his post on my blog.  What Tony wrote is spot on to how I've been feeling; he's worded it better than I would have though, and I think it's something everyone should read.  For those who are interested, this is a link to Tony's original post:

For now, I'm still not okay, but I'm trying to do better, and I AM better than I was.  

Monday, October 2, 2017

So Many Things I Want To Say, & All I Can Manage Is: Why?

The title of this post pretty much sums up what's going on inside of me right now.

I woke up Monday, October 2, 2017 to the story of the mass shooting in Las Vegas at the Highway 91 Music Festival, in front of the Mandalay Bay Casino.  Within the hour, the death toll had risen high enough for the shooting to be dubbed "the worst mass shooting in American history".  It was only 4 am here on the West Coast.

As the day went on, I knew I  was going to end up writing a blog post about the day's events. So many thoughts and emotions were running through me as I heard people on the radio, and saw the various Facebook posts and tweets from friends, strangers, and celebrities.  

I was shocked that this had happened at a country music concert.  Even at the rowdiest country music concert, I guess I just wouldn't expect this type of thing to happen.  

I was deeply saddened and almost in tears hearing about how many people had died, some while trying to save others from being hurt.

I was happy to hear that the artists who had been performing that night were safe and accounted for.  On a local note, I was also happy for the people at the radio station I listen to, 98.7 The Bull, in Portland, Oregon.  The station had an intern who was in Vegas for her birthday; she was actually across the street at a Big & Rich show when the shooting began.  

The station had also had a contest to win tickets to the Highway 91 Music Festival, and when news of the shooting broke, the station made every effort to find out if the contest winners were alright.  They were, and had actually ended up helping other concert goers who had been hurt.  You could hear it in the woman's voice, she was still in a bit of shock, as would be expected.

Unfortunately, though a former street team member of the station was also safe, (having flown home early), her brother and his girlfriend had stayed for the last day of the concert.  The girl's brother, in an attempt to shield his girlfriend, wound up being shot, though fortunately, he's still alive.

Along with those emotions came anger, not just at what had happened, but people as well.  First and foremost, was anger at the shooter.  How dare he, for whatever reason he had, take the lives of innocent people, and shatter the lives of those who survived.  He didn't know them, so what was the purpose?

Other tinges of anger came out at one of the witnesses.  A woman who had been a vendor at the concert at least partially blamed a lack of security for the shooting.  I realize the woman was probably still in shock over what had happened, and that the whole story hadn't developed yet, but it still bothered me a bit.  This is because the shooter wasn't part of the concert crowd; he was a guest of the hotel, who was shooting from the 32nd floor of the hotel.

There was also some anger at people who accused Jason Aldean of leaving the stage to seek shelter when the rampage started.  What was he supposed to do?  Stay and possibly get shot also?  Tell me one person who wouldn't have done the same thing in that situation. 

Another form of anger I have about this is feeling hopeless; not because I feel like I can't do anything to help.  No, I feel hopelessness that this world will never be a happy place ever again. This incident isn't the first of it's kind, and I'm pretty sure it won't be the last. 

All those emotions, and more are still swirling around inside me, and though this is approximately  my fifteenth attempt at writing this post, it's STILL not what I was trying to convey.  

Maybe it's because others I know have expressed how I feel, and what I want to say, better than I have.  

For example, my friend, Kim Blue, posted this on Facebook:  
"How scummy do have to be to blame loss of life on someone who had a spotlight on them up above everyone else on a stage for running for their life when some yells into the ear monitors that there is an active shooter and get off the stage? Which he did to get his very pregnant wife out of harms way. Thats not what I want to say, but my phone will autocorrect that kind of language. Bad reporter!"
 99.9% of the time, reporters are spot on with their stories.  Every once in awhile though, you get someone who does, or says something out of line.  I realize, reporters are human too, we all make mistakes, but honestly, this upset me.

My friend, Jake Byron, a DJ at 98.7 The Bull, posted the following on his station blog. When he posted to Facebook, he said he's just being honest, he's not proud of it.  I identify completely with what he's written; I just feel deflated after today. 

Feel Like Giving Up?

I certainly do.
Admittedly, I’ve been having a tough time lately.  There’s just so much wrong with the world, and so much hate & criticism about everything, that I’m just getting weary.  I have always prided myself as being somebody who fights for what I believe in, and stands up to what I see as injustice.  But I’m straight running out of gas.
The thing is…  with this shooter in Las Vegas…  there’s no next step.  There’s no response worth encouraging, there’s no justice to be found, and there’s no getting back those we lost.  This was simply a tragedy, and the best we can do is try to support those left behind, and that’s…  it.
I’ve just had it.  I could hide my head in the sand, and to be honest, that sounds the most appealing right now.
This is what hate does.  It wins.  I have such love and respect for those who are preaching the “love conquers all” message this morning.  You keep fighting the good fight.  But you’ve lost a allied soldier today.
I hope I bounce back.
~Jake from 98.7 The Bullpo
My friend, KD  Karin Carroll, posted a great, upbeat, reply to Jake's Facebook post. Thankfully KD is one of those people who's there to try to cheer the rest of us up when we get down:

KD Karin Carroll Kiddo it is how we all feel but hold on to your faith. Do not let the evil win. You cannot stop living because of hate. Keep your joy, love and kindness in tact we all will need this Arsenal nowc 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿❤️❤️❤️

KD, and others who have posted similar things are right, we can't let evil win.  We think it's bad now, imagine what it would be like if evil truly did take over! 

For now though, even after writing this post, I'm still as big a bundle of confusion, and raw emotion as I was before I wrote it.  They say time heals all wounds.  I hope so, not for myself, but for all those in Vegas, and anywhere, that has had to endure such senseless violence.  And I'm still left with that burning question, about this happening:  Why?

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

He May Not Miss Us, But We're Sure Gonna Miss Him...

Both rock 'n' roll heaven and that Grand Ol' Opry in the sky gained an angel today; singer/songwriting legend, Glen Campbell has died at the age of 81.

Glen was best known for his string of  country crossover hits in the mid 60's through the 70's, though his career actually started in 1960 when he moved to Los Angeles.

 Before making it as a solo artist, Campbell was best known for being a member of The Champs for about a year, then, after leaving the group, he spent time touring with The Beach Boys, filling in for member, Brian Wilson.

During his early years in L.A., while not on the road, Campbell made a name for himself as a studio musician, his talent shining brightly enough to earn him status as part of the elite group of studio session members known as The Wrecking Crew.  These studio musicians were known for being the best of the best, and were highly sought after by all the top singers of the day.

If Campbell wasn't busy enough touring and recording in the studio, he was also trying to make a name for himself as a solo artist.  By the mid 60's Campbell had already been signed by two record companies, appeared on several TV shows, and  released a handful of singles to radio.  As with most artists looking for fame though, Campbell kept reaching for the stars, with limited success.

That all changed in 1967 however.  That year Campbell had a breakthrough hit with "Gentle On My Mind".  This hit was followed by "By the Time I Get to Phoenix", penned by prolific songwriter, Jimmy Webb.

Webb has had hits with the who's who of music, including Whitney Houston, The 5th Dimension, and the iconic, "MacArthur's Park", by Rod McKuen.

During Glen Campbell's career, he scored several hits written by Webb, including "Galveston", "Wichita Lineman", and "Honey Come Back", to name a few.

These songs,(as well as other hits), were not only country gold, garnering Campbell several awards,  they catapulted the singer into the realm of crossover artist.  No matter what genre a radio station played, chances were they'd be playing at least one Glen Campbell hit.

If being a major singer/songwriter and musician wasn't enough, in January 1969, CBS debuted "The Glen Campbell Goodtime Hour".  Like other variety shows of the day, the program offered music, comedy and big name guest stars.

Additionally, Campbell's show helped bring country music to the forefront during what could be considered the heyday of the ever changing rock and roll scene.

It wasn't just the small screen that Campbell invaded that year.  On the big screen Campbell made his acting debut, opposite none other than John Wayne.  Campbell played "La Boeuf" opposite Wayne's "Rooster Cogburn", in the movie, "True Grit".

Even while honing his acting chops, Campbell didn't stray too far from his musical roots.  In addition to acting in "True Grit", Campbell sang the theme song to the movie.

Glen Campbell's hits continued into the 70's, though his personal life was taking a downward turn.

While Campbell will always be known for his hits in the 60's, probably the most well known song of all his hits is "Rhinestone Cowboy".  As big as his other hits were, even those tunes aren't as widely recognized as that song, released in 1975.

The high of "Rhinestone Cowboy" in 1975 was tempered by the crumbling of Campbell's marriage to second wife, Billie Jean Nunley in 1976, after 17 years.

Campbell didn't stay single long however.  That same year, he married Sarah Berg, the former wife of singer/songwriter/actor, Mac Davis.   The two remained married until just after the birth of their son in 1980.

With the 70's, and his marriage to Sarah, behind him, Campbell entered into what might have been the most tumultuous period of his life.  From 1980, through 1982, Campbell dated fellow country singer, Tanya Tucker.  Half Campbell's age, with a fiery temper, Tucker seemed, at least to outsiders, to be a bit more than Campbell could handle.  This period in Campbell's life saw him delve into drink and drugs, and what seemed to be constant public bickering with Tucker.  After their split in 1982, both Campbell and Tucker refused to speak of their relationship.

Single once again, Campbell married his fourth wife, Kim Woolen, in 1982, and life seemed to return to normal for the singer.

While the early 80's seems to be when Glen Campbell's heyday peaked, it wasn't a period of slowing down for the him.  Campbell continued to tour extensively, and recorded a new album almost every year.

At least one of Campbell's children from a previous marriage, Debby Campbell, toured and sang with her father;  while Ashley Campbell, one of Glen's children with Kim, is an up and coming country singer/songwriter.

 Life seemed to quiet down for Campbell, while still remaining consistent in regards to his career.  Unlike a lot of celebrities, Campbell appeared to be gracefully entering his senior years.

Then came the news in 2011, Glen Campbell, the man who had spent almost five decades entertaining fans in song and on screen, had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease.  The news was made public in conjunction with the announcement that Campbell would be embarking on his final tour.

In 2012 Campbell added to his awards, being honored with a Grammy LIfetime Achievement award.

2013-2014 saw the release of a documentary about Campbell's life, career, and struggle with Alzheimer's.  A song from this film, "I'm Not Gonna Miss You", was also released to radio at the time.  Though not written by Campbell, it's a poignant song that captures what the man was going through while dealing with the disease.

  Earlier this year, Glen Campbell's final studio album, "Adios", was released.  It's a compilation of songs the singer had always wanted to record, but never did.  Though just released, the album was actually recorded in 2012.

 Then today, August 8, 2017, came the sad news, Glen Campbell passed away, losing his battle with Alzheimer's Disease.

Over the past six years Campbell's family has kept his fans abreast of how the singer was doing, and were staunch advocates of finding a cure for Alzheimer's.  Though Campbell has now passed, the family has said they'd continue to help find a cure.

Usually when I write a post, it reflects a part of me; and this time is no exception.  Before getting to that though, I felt that Glen Campbell deserved to have his life and accomplishments mentioned; he's definitely a country music/crossover legend after all.

My love of, and connection as a fan to Glen Campbell began when I was a little girl.  Glen Campbell was my mom's favorite singer, and she played his music all the time in our house.

Campbell's concert, when I was little, was the first concert I remember going to.  I remember that my brother, who is totally deaf, even liked the show, because he could feel the rhythm of the music through the floor of the auditorium.  That concert instilled a love of music in him, because though he couldn't hear it, he learned to enjoy it through the vibrations it made.

Though Campbell had a huge list of hits to his credit, my favorite song was one that not many remember, "Dreams of the Everyday Housewife".  I don't know what it is about the song, but it's just always been my favorite of all of Campbell's songs.

In later years, my connection with Glen Campbell continued, through his having Alzheimer's Disease, something that my mom also has.  I found it ironic to be keeping track of Campbell's struggles, (because my mom insisted on being kept up to date on how he was doing), while watching my mom go through the same thing at the same time.  It was sad to have to tell her today that Campbell had died. 

Being such a huge fan of all types of music, it's always hard when any artist passes, especially one that's such an icon in the industry.  Though I didn't know him personally, I think the reason Glen Campbell's passing is so sad for me is because of his having Alzheimer's, as well as being my mom's favorite singer.  It hits a little too close to home for me, I guess.  So, I guess this post is as much for my mom as it is for me, because I know my mom is sad to hear about Campbell's death.  I hope I've made both of them proud with what I've written here. 

Friday, June 2, 2017

Remembering Carlo "Carl" Driggs

 Though the name Carlo Driggs may not stand out in the music world as much as other artists, it's not for lack of talent.

Carlo was born in Cuba, with music in his blood, and over the course of his career, racked up a string of major accomplishments.

I've witnessed this talent at many concerts, for which I feel fortunate to have been able to do. This is especially true since learning of Carlo's untimely death on May 31, 2017 of a massive heart attack.

Though I didn't know Carlo personally, when I heard the news of his passing I was shocked and saddened.  My first thought was that Rock n Roll heaven had claimed another angel for it's band.  I then thought of Paul Revere, from Paul Revere and the Raiders, and knew Carlo was now reunited with his former boss of 21 years, (1983-2004).

It was with Paul Revere and the Raiders that I first heard the name Carl Driggs, (he'd dropped the "o" at that time), and experienced the talent and showmanship the man possessed.

His voice could be rough and raspy sounding one minute, and the next be soft and sultry.  No matter the song, Carl could take it and make it his own, all while moving around the stage with a force of energy that was contagious; spreading through the gathered crowds of concert goers on a regular basis.

Off stage, when signing autographs, Carl was always kind and polite to every fan wanting a photo or signature.  He treated everyone equally and with respect, and was a true gentleman in every sense of the word.

For me, though Mark Lindsay is the voice on the Raiders' hits, Carl was the face and voice of the post Mark era Raiders.

Having been a Paul Revere and the Raiders fan almost my entire life, I've always had a passion for looking up all the trivial info I can find about the band and it's members.  This same passion is what led me to discover that Carlo had been in at least two other bands, prior to the Raiders, that had released albums in the United States.

The first band was called Kracker, and the other was Foxy.

It was with Foxy that Carlo co-wrote the song, "Get Off", which landed the band at #9 on the Billboard charts and #1 on the R&B charts in 1978.

 For those who may not recognize the name of the band, or the song, I've included it in this post.

As stated earlier in this post, Carlo was with  Paul Revere and the Raiders for 21 years, 1983 to 2004.  After leaving the Raiders, Carlo went on to entertain audiences as a solo artist in Las Vegas.

Though I was never fortunate to see Carlo's solo performance, I've  heard from others that it was a well polished show, where he covered a diverse range of musical genres and artists, from Frank Sinatra, to the Rolling Stones and everything in between.

Being friends with many Raider fans on Facebook, I've seen numerous posts praising Carlo Driggs' talents, and mourning his loss.  Because there have been so many, I debated whether I should post something as well.  At first I wasn't going to, but I just kept thinking of all these different things I wanted to say, so with this post, I've now added my contribution to the others honoring the memory of Carlo Driggs.

 Thank you Carlo for all the great memories you've given so many of us all these years.

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

'Twas the Year Twenty-Sixteen

Before you continue reading, I feel I should give fair warning that this is not a "happy" post.  While based on "A Visit from St. Nicholas", (aka " 'Twas the Night Before Christmas"),  by Clement Clarke Moore, this post is filled with darker undertones, and is a bit abstract at times.

Also, I try to give equal time to all, though sometimes it's not possible.  So while I've named a few names in the lines of this verse, please note that I wanted to include more; it just didn't work to my advantage in some cases.

With all that said, the following is my skewed look back at the year 2016.


Of the year twenty-sixteen there's plenty to grouse,
Including a new president for the White House.
Supporters were happy; the rest in despair,
Of the man with orange skin and really bad hair.

Trump wasn't the only thing there was to dread;
So much violence, people ending up dead.
Shootings, bombings and all kinds of scary crap;
All this, and more, the nightly news had on tap.
Protesters protesting for things they felt mattered.
Marching through the streets, creating quite a clatter.
Though most wanted peace, some with police clashed.
So much tension, no wonder their tempers flashed.

Yet that still wasn't the end, wouldn't you know;
Intolerance and hatred among us did grow.
Always underlying, it rose up this year,
Rearing its ugly head, and making itself clear.
Choose any minority, go on, take your pick;
All came under attack, making others feel sick.
The bigotry of some, made others feel shame.
Yet those causing the problem would not take the blame.
All the emotions, the good and bad were mixin'.
The only sure thing was problems needed fixin'.
Our country had stumbled, had taken a great fall.
The year seemed destined to destroy one and all.
If that wasn't enough to make one cry,
So many icons in twenty-sixteen did die.
Bowie, Michael, Fisher and Prince were a few.
Beloved Willy Wonka, Gene Wilder, left us too.

Talk of Abe Vigoda's death was always a goof;
But twenty-sixteen dealt us all the stark truth.
Best known as "Fish", Abe is no longer around.
Only in reruns of "Barney Miller" he's found.

Glenn Frey with The Eagles was always very good.
Florence Henderson and Doris Roberts both would,
Leave this world for heaven, and never come back.
No longer moms for Raymond, or the Brady Bunch pack.

Seems for the most part twenty-sixteen's been quite hairy.
Maybe what this world needs is a good dose of fairy
Magic to put a halt to this mad, mad show.
What?  You don't believe? Come on, just give it a go.
Maybe, just maybe, if there's enough belief,
We can come together, and start healing the grief,
That's deeper than the underside of a snake's belly.

From corporations to the neighborhood deli,
Let's rally together; take our pride off the shelf.
Plant seeds of happiness and start spreading the wealth.
Twenty-seventeen is a rough road to tread;
Let's lead with kindness, and hope for less bloodshed.
It won't be easy; it's a lot of hard work.
But for all who try, the world has one less jerk.

So now that you're done reading my bit of prose,
Think good thoughts, but stay alert, on your toes.
'Cause next year may come with a nuclear missile,
Eradicating us all, clean as a whistle.
If this little ditty has given you a fright,
There IS hope for next year, when this one's out of sight.


Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Happy Doomsday!

Well, here we are, November 8, 2016, the day America decides it's fate for the next four years.

Yep, after months of campaigning, (aka mudslinging, character bashing, name calling, etc., etc., etc.), today is the day we finally find out whether Hillary Clinton, or Donald Trump will be taking up residence at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.  Personally, I'm terrified whatever the outcome will be.

Seriously, in all my years of being able to vote, I've never really been happy with the choices I've had to pick from for president, but I've never been afraid of what the outcome of an election would be, until now.  
     (Photo not a true representation of the candidates. Actual photos were deemed too frightening for use in this blog post.)

We've been hearing for months about all the wrongs Clinton and Trump have done.  It's like watching a reality TV show, except it IS reality.  We're not going to be able to just turn off the TV and go on with our lives after today.  This reality, however it plays out in the polls, will be with us, 24/7 for the next four years.

It's not just all the dirty campaigning they've engaged in, or the things each has been accused of; it's the voters as well that worry me.  If any of them emulate the candidate they support, what's going to happen if that candidate loses?  Come on, people riot in the streets for less, whether the situation is good or bad.  Who's to say that mob mentality won't take over in our streets, if enough people decide it's okay to handle the situation that way.

As I said in a recent post on Facebook:  I find it strange that we tell our children that it's never okay to lie, cheat, steal, or bully someone; yet our two top choices for president encompass all these negativities, and more.
Just remember, actions speak louder than words. What message are we sending kids when they see these things being done by someone who's supposed to lead our country?

I realize, it's only my opinion, but I just don't like the thought of either Hillary Clinton, or Donald Trump being in charge of our country, not even for one day, let alone four years. I've never trusted anyone running for office less than I trust these two.

True to being me though, I've been dealing with all of this my own way, with humor, whenever possible, or when the muse strikes.

One way I've been coping is by trying to find alternatives to vote for, for the office of president. I've actually come up with several choices I'd be happy with.

1,  Bill the Cat & Opus the Penguin

I've loved Bill and Opus from the first time I saw them in the comic strip,"Bloom County", by Berkley Breathed.

These two are a breath of fresh air for politics.  Bill blends right in with today's politicians, seeming to play dumb to the world, while Opus embraces it whole-heartedly, ever seeking to find the good in everyone and everything.

The foundation of their campaign is to put two spaces between a period and the start of a new sentence.  You know, the things that are important to the well-being of mankind.

2.  Alice Cooper

I've always been a fan of Alice Cooper, seeing beyond the shock rock stage performance, and radio hits he's racked up over the years.  Behind all that is a man who's pretty down to earth, tells things like they are, and isn't afraid to speak his mind, while still being respectful of others.

I never thought of him as a candidate for president though, until he mockingly decided to run, because he didn't like what he was seeing happen this year.  He's also running for Prime Minister of England, since he says their political system is as screwed up as ours is.

It may sound crazy, but the man really does have some good points.

3.  Mike Rowe

Mike Rowe, star of TV commercials, and the TV show, "Dirty Jobs", is another choice I thought of for president.

Rowe is actually quite a renaissance man, having held several jobs during his lifetime, including a stint as an opera singer.

He's so well loved that Rowe has actually received at least 500,000 requests from fans to run for president.  While he was flattered, Rowe declined the offer, but offered up his dog, Freddy, as an alternative, with himself being Freddy's vice presidential running mate.  

I see Mike Rowe as one of those people that would honestly make a great president, but is smart enough to know he doesn't want the job.

4.  Snoopy

I've been hearing quite a bit from anti-Trump people that, besides all the other reasons he shouldn't be president, a big one is that he has no experience in politics.  

Keeping that in mind, I realized that my other three choices for president also have no political experience.  To remedy this, I've taken into consideration someone who's run for president several times over the past few decades, Snoopy, from the "Peanuts" comic strip.

Who doesn't love Snoopy?  He's an American icon.  And of course, there's his vice presidential running mate, Woodstock, who's equally lovable.  

Another way I've been handling the political maelstrom is with song rewrites.

By no means am I another Weird Al, but I do have fun with parodies, and have had a couple pop into my head in the past few months.

The first one I came up with uses "We Are the World" as it's base.  When it first popped into my head, I was thinking of it as both Clinton and Trump taking turns with the rewritten lines.  Hillary's parts would be in blue, and Donald's in red.

By the time I was able to have time to put my words to paper however, the entire thing had changed, so, I rewrote the first couple of verses and the chorus of "We Are the World" the new way, and used green for the parody part, 

I've included the video for "We Are the World" here, followed by the original lyrics and the parody. 


There comes a time
There comes a time
When we heed a certain call
Every four years in the fall
When the world must come together as one
When the U.S. must choose only one
There are people dying
Despite all the lying
And it's time to lend a hand to life
All the mudslinging and all the strife
The greatest gift of all
That one must lead us all

We can't go on pretending day by day
Let’s get real though, let’s not shy away
That someone, somewhere will soon make a change
Despite who wins, it will be a bad change
We're all a part of God's great big family
Will the White House see Hillary’s family
And the truth, you know, love is all we need
Or will it be the Donald who succeeds

We are the world
The Democrats
We are the children
Or Republicans
We are the ones who make a brighter day
Which will be the one to darken our days
So let's start giving
They’re both deceiving
There is a choice we're making
Say they’ll do good; they’re faking
Were saving our own lives
Everything’s based on lies
It's true we'll make a better day, just you and me
The only truth is who’s being screwed, you and me

Send them your heart
Do they have hearts
So they'll know that someone cares
Do they have souls, do they care
And their lives will be stronger and free
We’ll cast our votes, then we’ll wait and see
As God has shown us by turning stones to bread
Deleted emails, or crazy in the head
And so we all must lend a helping hand
As Toby once said, fit will hit the shan

We are the world
The Democrats
We are the children
Or Republicans
We are the ones who make a brighter day
Which will be the one to darken our days
So let's start giving
They’re both deceiving
There is a choice we're making
Say they’ll do good; they’re faking
Were saving our own lives
Everything’s based on lies
It's true we'll make a better day, just you and me
The only truth is who’s being screwed, you and me

A couple weeks after the above parody, my brain came up with another one.  Instead of using a song that's 31 years old though, this time, it rewrote Carrie Underwood's latest single, "Dirty Laundry".  

As with "We Are the World", I only redid a couple verses, and the chorus.  Below is the video for Carrie's "Dirty Laundry", followed by the lyrics to the song, and the parody.


That lipstick on your collar, well, it ain't my shade of pink
Ain’t nothin’ good ‘bout politics, and this year really stinks
And I can tell by the smell of that perfume, it's like forty dollars too cheap
From name calling, to mudslinging, the candidates are really digging in deep
And there's a little wine stain on the pocket of your white cotton thread
There’s so many things to consider swimming around inside our heads
Well, you drink beer and whiskey, boy, and you know I don't drink red
Until this election’s over, think I’ll hide under my bed

Found it over in the corner
Wish election day was over
Wadded up on the bedroom floor
Trump and Clinton are both big bores
You shoulda hid it in the closet
Her skeletons pulled from the closet
You shoulda burned it, you shoulda lost it
As for him, he’s kind of gone and lost it

Now I'ma have to hang you out to dry, dry, dry
Oh, it’s all left us asking ourselves, why, why, why
Clothespin all your secrets to the line, line, line
Neither as president will be fine, fine, fine
eave 'em blowing in the wind, just say goodbye to you
No matter which one wins, who loses will be me and you
All those midnights sneaking in
Our prayers we better begin
"I'm late again, oh, I'm so sorry"
No matter what though, we’ll be sorry
All the Ajax in the world ain't gonna clean your dirty laundry
Lackluster candidates leave us in a political quandary

[Verse 2]
If the neighbors get to asking, I won't cover nothin' up
Swear they’ve been completely honest, haven’t covered nothin’ up
I'll tell 'em every little detail, how you drug me through the mud
Yet, what about Hillary’s emails, while Trump is just out for blood
I'm gonna string up your old button-down and slide it on the porch
We’ve hit a new low, with who will carry the presidential torch
Just in case you get the nerve to come knockin' on my door
Don’t think I’m alone, when I say it scares me to my core


Now I'ma have to hang you out to dry, dry, dry
Oh, it’s all left us asking ourselves, why, why, why
Clothespin all your secrets to the line, line, line
Neither as president will be fine, fine, fine
Leave 'em blowing in the wind, just say goodbye to you
No matter which one wins, who loses will be me and you
All those midnights sneaking in
Our prayers we better begin
"I'm late again, oh, I'm so sorry"
No matter what though, we’ll be sorry
All the Ajax in the world ain't gonna clean your dirty laundry
Lackluster candidates leave us in a political quandary

Found it over in the corne
Wish election day was over
Wadded up on the bedroom floor
Trump and Clinton are both big bores
You shoulda hid it in the closet
Her skeletons pulled from the closet
You shoulda burned it, you shoulda lost it
As for him, he’s kind of gone and lost it

Now I'ma have to hang you out to dry, dry, dry
Oh, it’s all left us asking ourselves, why, why, why
Clothespin all your secrets to the line, line, line
Neither as president will be fine, fine, fine
Leave 'em blowing in the wind, just say goodbye to you
No matter which one wins, who loses will be me and you
All those midnights sneaking in
Our prayers we better begin
"I'm late again, oh, I'm so sorry"
No matter what though, we’ll be sorry
All the Ajax in the world ain't gonna clean your dirty laundry
Lackluster candidates leave us in a political quandary

While this next bit didn't come from me, it didn't fall to far from the tree. My son, Josh, has the same warped sense of humor as mine. The other day he posted what popped into his head on Facebook:

Who to choose, who to choose. While one will win, we all will lose. Turn in your ballot by tuesday night, am i doing this poem thing right?

If you're still with me at this point, thank you for indulging me being able to share all of the above babble, I appreciate it.

In closing, I wish everyone the best in the four years ahead of us.  Let's hope it will be better than these past few months of campaigning have been.