Rambling On... Music & More...: November 2016

Well, here we are, November 8, 2016, the day America decides it's fate for the next four years.

Yep, after months of campaigning, (aka mudslinging, character bashing, name calling, etc., etc., etc.), today is the day we finally find out whether Hillary Clinton, or Donald Trump will be taking up residence at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Personally, I'm terrified whatever the outcome will be.

Seriously, in all my years of being able to vote, I've never really been happy with the choices I've had to pick from for president, but I've never been afraid of what the outcome of an election would be, until now.

(Photo not a true representation of the candidates. Actual photos were deemed too frightening for use in this blog post.)

We've been hearing for months about all the wrongs Clinton and Trump have done. It's like watching a reality TV show, except it IS reality. We're not going to be able to just turn off the TV and go on with our lives after today. This reality, however it plays out in the polls, will be with us, 24/7 for the next four years.

It's not just all the dirty campaigning they've engaged in, or the things each has been accused of; it's the voters as well that worry me. If any of them emulate the candidate they support, what's going to happen if that candidate loses? Come on, people riot in the streets for less, whether the situation is good or bad. Who's to say that mob mentality won't take over in our streets, if enough people decide it's okay to handle the situation that way.

As I said in a recent post on Facebook: I find it strange that we tell our children that it's never okay to lie, cheat, steal, or bully someone; yet our two top choices for president encompass all these negativities, and more.

Just remember, actions speak louder than words. What message are we sending kids when they see these things being done by someone who's supposed to lead our country?

I realize, it's only my opinion, but I just don't like the thought of either Hillary Clinton, or Donald Trump being in charge of our country, not even for one day, let alone four years. I've never trusted anyone running for office less than I trust these two.

True to being me though, I've been dealing with all of this my own way, with humor, whenever possible, or when the muse strikes.

One way I've been coping is by trying to find alternatives to vote for, for the office of president. I've actually come up with several choices I'd be happy with.

1, Bill the Cat & Opus the Penguin

I've loved Bill and Opus from the first time I saw them in the comic strip,"Bloom County", by Berkley Breathed.

These two are a breath of fresh air for politics. Bill blends right in with today's politicians, seeming to play dumb to the world, while Opus embraces it whole-heartedly, ever seeking to find the good in everyone and everything.

The foundation of their campaign is to put two spaces between a period and the start of a new sentence. You know, the things that are important to the well-being of mankind.

2. Alice Cooper

I've always been a fan of Alice Cooper, seeing beyond the shock rock stage performance, and radio hits he's racked up over the years. Behind all that is a man who's pretty down to earth, tells things like they are, and isn't afraid to speak his mind, while still being respectful of others.

I never thought of him as a candidate for president though, until he mockingly decided to run, because he didn't like what he was seeing happen this year. He's also running for Prime Minister of England, since he says their political system is as screwed up as ours is.

It may sound crazy, but the man really does have some good points.

3. Mike Rowe

Mike Rowe, star of TV commercials, and the TV show, "Dirty Jobs", is another choice I thought of for president.

Rowe is actually quite a renaissance man, having held several jobs during his lifetime, including a stint as an opera singer.

He's so well loved that Rowe has actually received at least 500,000 requests from fans to run for president. While he was flattered, Rowe declined the offer, but offered up his dog, Freddy, as an alternative, with himself being Freddy's vice presidential running mate.

I see Mike Rowe as one of those people that would honestly make a great president, but is smart enough to know he doesn't want the job.

4. Snoopy

I've been hearing quite a bit from anti-Trump people that, besides all the other reasons he shouldn't be president, a big one is that he has no experience in politics.

Keeping that in mind, I realized that my other three choices for president also have no political experience. To remedy this, I've taken into consideration someone who's run for president several times over the past few decades, Snoopy, from the "Peanuts" comic strip.

Who doesn't love Snoopy? He's an American icon. And of course, there's his vice presidential running mate, Woodstock, who's equally lovable.

Another way I've been handling the political maelstrom is with song rewrites.

By no means am I another Weird Al, but I do have fun with parodies, and have had a couple pop into my head in the past few months.

The first one I came up with uses "We Are the World" as it's base. When it first popped into my head, I was thinking of it as both Clinton and Trump taking turns with the rewritten lines. Hillary's parts would be in blue, and Donald's in red.

By the time I was able to have time to put my words to paper however, the entire thing had changed, so, I rewrote the first couple of verses and the chorus of "We Are the World" the new way, and used green for the parody part,

I've included the video for "We Are the World" here, followed by the original lyrics and the parody.

WE ARE THE WORLD-WE’RE ALL SCREWED

There comes a time

There comes a time
When we heed a certain call

Every four years in the fall
When the world must come together as one

When the U.S. must choose only one
There are people dying

Despite all the lying
And it's time to lend a hand to life

All the mudslinging and all the strife
The greatest gift of all

That one must lead us all

We can't go on pretending day by day

Let’s get real though, let’s not shy away
That someone, somewhere will soon make a change

Despite who wins, it will be a bad change

We're all a part of God's great big family

Will the White House see Hillary’s family
And the truth, you know, love is all we need

Or will it be the Donald who succeeds

We are the world

The Democrats
We are the children

Or Republicans
We are the ones who make a brighter day

Which will be the one to darken our days
So let's start giving

They’re both deceiving
There is a choice we're making

Say they’ll do good; they’re faking
Were saving our own lives

Everything’s based on lies
It's true we'll make a better day, just you and me

The only truth is who’s being screwed, you and me

Send them your heart

Do they have hearts
So they'll know that someone cares

Do they have souls, do they care
And their lives will be stronger and free

We’ll cast our votes, then we’ll wait and see
As God has shown us by turning stones to bread

Deleted emails, or crazy in the head
And so we all must lend a helping hand

As Toby once said, fit will hit the shan

We are the world

The Democrats
We are the children

Or Republicans
We are the ones who make a brighter day

Which will be the one to darken our days
So let's start giving

They’re both deceiving
There is a choice we're making

Say they’ll do good; they’re faking
Were saving our own lives

Everything’s based on lies
It's true we'll make a better day, just you and me

The only truth is who’s being screwed, you and me

A couple weeks after the above parody, my brain came up with another one. Instead of using a song that's 31 years old though, this time, it rewrote Carrie Underwood's latest single, "Dirty Laundry".

As with "We Are the World", I only redid a couple verses, and the chorus. Below is the video for Carrie's "Dirty Laundry", followed by the lyrics to the song, and the parody.

DIRTY LAUNDRY—POLITICAL QUANDARY

That lipstick on your collar, well, it ain't my shade of pink

Ain’t nothin’ good ‘bout politics, and this year really stinks
And I can tell by the smell of that perfume, it's like forty dollars too cheap

From name calling, to mudslinging, the candidates are really digging in deep
And there's a little wine stain on the pocket of your white cotton thread

There’s so many things to consider swimming around inside our heads
Well, you drink beer and whiskey, boy, and you know I don't drink red

Until this election’s over, think I’ll hide under my bed

[Pre-Chorus]
Found it over in the corner

Wish election day was over
Wadded up on the bedroom floor

Trump and Clinton are both big bores
You shoulda hid it in the closet

Her skeletons pulled from the closet
You shoulda burned it, you shoulda lost it

As for him, he’s kind of gone and lost it

[Chorus]
Now I'ma have to hang you out to dry, dry, dry

Oh, it’s all left us asking ourselves, why, why, why
Clothespin all your secrets to the line, line, line

Neither as president will be fine, fine, fine
Leave 'em blowing in the wind, just say goodbye to you

No matter which one wins, who loses will be me and you
All those midnights sneaking in

Our prayers we better begin
"I'm late again, oh, I'm so sorry"

No matter what though, we’ll be sorry
All the Ajax in the world ain't gonna clean your dirty laundry

Lackluster candidates leave us in a political quandary

[Verse 2]
If the neighbors get to asking, I won't cover nothin' up

Swear they’ve been completely honest, haven’t covered nothin’ up
I'll tell 'em every little detail, how you drug me through the mud

Yet, what about Hillary’s emails, while Trump is just out for blood
I'm gonna string up your old button-down and slide it on the porch

We’ve hit a new low, with who will carry the presidential torch
Just in case you get the nerve to come knockin' on my door

Don’t think I’m alone, when I say it scares me to my core