Some things that happen in a person's life stay with them forever; whether they were directly involved, or not. That's the way I am about 9/11. Even though it's been 10 years, it still feels like it was yesterday. All the emotions, thoughts, everything are as raw now as ten years ago today.
I can't imagine what it's like for those who were directly, or even indirectly involved with the events that day. How raw the feelings and memories must be for them, even now.
The same question is asked every year, "where were you, and what were you doing,when the planes hit the towers"?
I was on my way to work, on the MAX, listening to KUPL. Just three days prior I learned that this really pretty glass building in Portland is the World Trade Center. For some reason I hadn't known that. I'd just always thought of it as the building with the merry-go-round in it.
Ironically, the song, "Only In America" by Brooks & Dunn, finished playing just as Amy King,(the newscaster for KUPL at the time), came on the air saying that a plane had hit the World Trade Center. At the same time, the MAX train I was on had just rounded the corner, and I could see down to where Portland's World Trade Center is. My first thought when I heard Amy say that, and looked toward the Trade Center was, "no it didn't, it looks fine". My naivety showed through at that moment, because I didn't get past Portland having a World Trade Center. I realize now that there are World Trade Centers everywhere.
On that day though, I was confused, because I didn't see any plane that had crashed into the Portland World Trade Center. I couldn't even fathom how it could have happened, since the building isn't that tall, compared to ones around it.
I kept listening to KUPL, with Lee Rogers, Jim E. Chonga, and Amy talking about what had happened. I heard them say it was New York, and finally understood. I also remember them emphasizing that there weren't a lot of clear details at that time, so they didn't want to say the plane crash was more than an accident. Then the second plane hit.
Even then, the Waking Crew stressed that despite what things appeared to be, until they had official word, they were cautioning listeners to not be overly alarmed. I kept thinking how good they were at their jobs, to stay so professional, in light of what was happening.
Throughout the day, I listened to the radio. KUPL had switched to, I think, CNN, and was broadcasting that live. For the most part, once the attacks were over, the broadcasters hashed, and rehashed all that had happened that morning. As new information came in, it was passed on to the public; but most of the day after awhile was just the same soundbites and interviews.
I kept my radio on all day, as there was no TV at work to see what was going on. For me, that was almost worse. As hard as the videos are to watch, hearing voices come out of the radio, talking about all the horrible things that had happened, and not having anything concrete to link them to was unnerving. Yet, I couldn't stop listening. For some reason, I felt that if I just kept listening, suddenly everything would make sense; it didn't, but I kept listening.
I also felt that, even though I wasn't there, I needed to hear someone on the radio say what I was thinking. There was a lot of talk about the buildings collapsing, all the paperwork, smoke, dust, everything filling the streets, etc.; yet no one was saying anything about the PEOPLE. I just kept thinking, "yes, this is REALLY bad, but they were just things, what about the people, why isn't anyone talking about the actual victims?
Finally, at some point during the day there was a soundbite of a woman who said EXACTLY what was going through my head, and how I was feeling. I have no idea who the woman was, she was just another disembodied soundbite, among the many that day; but she was MY soundbite. I latched on to it every time I heard it that day; for some reason it gave me comfort to know someone else out there felt the way I did.
Driving home from work that afternoon, I noticed something different about the traffic on I-205. At first I thought maybe I was imagining things, but eventually realized I really was seeing what I was seeing.
I-205 northbound can be a virtual parking lot most days. Add in a lot of merging traffic, and it can be hectic. On September 11, 2001 however, that wasn't happening. Instead of the usual, "try to cut someone off to get in front of them", and all, drivers were actually being courteous to each other. I remember seeing one car that I'd see almost every day on my way home. The person almost always cut someone off, just to be in front, didn't use their blinker, the whole nine yards. On that day though, this person actually not only used their blinker, they let people merge in front of them. The whole thing was kind of surreal, because so many people were actually being polite on the roadways.
Over the next few days I was either watching TV, or had my radio on, constantly searching for answers. Looking back, I don't know why I felt there had to be instant answers, I know life doesn't work that way; but I wanted them anyway. Ten years later I'm not really sure I have them even now.
I remember a couple days after the attacks, Aaron Tippin released a song, "Where the Stars and Stripes and Eagle Fly". Aaron said he'd had the song for awhile, and felt that it fit the current situation, so he released it. All proceeds from sales of the single went to help victims of the attacks.
In the grand scheme of things, I'm sure that fact is trivial; yet, it's one of the questions I still have in the back of my mind. Why, even though Aaron Tippin's song is still played on the radio, is it pretty much ignored in comparison to other 9/11 songs?
Granted, the three songs that come to mind, Alan Jackson's, "Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning"; Toby Keith's "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue"; and "Have You Forgotten", by Darryl Worley, are all powerful songs. All are deserving of recognition for their remembrance of 9/11.
Also, yes, Toby Keith, and I think Darryl Worley have gone overseas to play for the troops. However, in ten years I've never heard if any of the proceeds from these three songs has gone to help with the events of 9/11. Granted, they could have, and it didn't make the media; however, to me, I would like to know if any has.
Aaron Tippin has also made trips overseas, as well as contributing his song to 9/11; yet, as I stated earlier, his song goes pretty much unnoticed compared to Alan's, Toby's or Darryl's. I guess in the back of my mind there's this little part that's bothered by the fact that three people, even with all they've done good, are still making money off 9/11, from their songs. Yet, the one person who donated his song to the efforts is all but ignored.
I realize, this is a petty thing on my part; it is part of all the feelings I have about 9/11 though, so I'm sharing that as well.
Over all, people gather a lot of experiences during their lifetime; some good, some bad. What happened on 9/11 is something I hope no one ever has to experience again.
