Don't Forget Them

(Today's word will be in red and bold.)



To say the least, last week was a rough one for this nation, especially in two states.

On  Tuesday, December 11, 2012, a day of holiday shopping for 10,000 people was abruptly halted when a gunman entered Clackamas Town Center in Portland, Oregon, and opened fire, killing two.

Only three days later, on Friday, December 14, 2012, another gunman went on a rampage, this time in Newtown, Connecticut, ending the lives of twenty innocent children, and six adults at Sandy Hook Elementary School.

I realize, by now, this is old news;  you'd have to be living under a rock not to know about either of these incidents.  My reason for writing this post is to emphasize a lot of what I've been seeing and reading on Facebook, Twitter, and other social media, as well as KUPL's own "Simon in the Morning" program.

While it's generally agreed that none of the victims should be forgotten, it's also agreed that too much attention has been given to those who created these horrible events.

Instead of dwelling on the gunmen, give the facts, tell the story, then don't mention them anymore; they're not worth it, evil never is.

Focus instead on those who lost their lives on those two days, Steve Forsyth and Cindy Yuille in Oregon, and the twenty children, and seven adults in Connecticut.

Yes, the media says six adults were victims in Connecticut, though the gunman's mother was also found dead in her home that same day.  Though she wasn't at the school, Nancy Lanza should also be in our thoughts and prayers.

For those that can, do something to help the victims' families, even if it's only to offer a prayer of comfort, or to attend a vigil.

KUPL has set up a fund for the Oregon victims' families through Key Bank.  They will also be holding a benefit concert on Saturday, December 22, 2012.

While it's true that none of these things will bring those lost back; it's a way to help those affected, and the nation as a whole to heal.

Let's hope the rest of  the year passes peacefully.

Holiday Gifts & Daily Jokes

Normally I try not write posts that are "downers"; sometimes though, as with the shooting at Clackamas Town Center, I have to get my emotions out.

Before the shooting, I'd had another post planned for today.  Not *quite* a downer post, just not as upbeat as I try to be.  Again, until I get the emotions out, it will gnaw at me.

With that said, today's post is what I'd originally intended to write.  It was inspired by talk on "Simon in the Morning" yesterday, involving two separate subjects.

The first thing that had me thinking about writing this post had to do with gifting certain people at Christmas time.  The discussion had to do with should you "tip", (for lack of a better word), the mailman, your garbage man, your hairdresser, etc., extra at this time of year; and how much?

Now, I'm not an inconsiderate person; I understand tipping people, etc., for a job well done, on a daily basis.  But $10 to $25 per person, because it's Christmas time; as a gift?  I for one can't afford that; I barely make it through getting for my family, let alone others.

Okay, yes, if you're really close to the person, then yeah, why not?  However, if you're not, you're supposed to give them something anyway? To be honest, I don't have a clue what my garbage man looks like.  For all I know, it's not even the same person from week to week.

A newspaper delivery person called in to the show, saying how he counts on those "tips" every year, to help him buy his Christmas gifts; that kind of struck a nerve with me.  While I understand that this person's job isn't easy, (up very early, having to deliver papers no matter what the weather is like, etc.), why is anyone expected to give this person even $10, so they can buy Christmas presents for their family?  Yes, I realize, it's the season of giving, and I sound very selfish; it's not meant that way.

How about instead of cash, or a check, the money is donated to a charity in that person's name?  At least that way the money would go to those who need it even more than myself, or the person waiting for the gift.  Yeah, we're probably both strapped for cash; but the money would at least be going to those who need it even more than we do.

Now that I've said my piece on that, (just my opinion of course), on to the next subject from yesterday's "Simon in the Morning":  Practical jokes.

Practical jokes have been around for eons.  Most are harmless fun, though some aren't.  A lot of that, I think, has to do with the person, or persons doing the joke, whether it's done in jest, or with malice, and how far the joke is taken.

For awhile now, the "Simon in the Morning" team have been doing what they call "Simonizers".  A listener will call, or email asking Scott, Jolynn and Jake to pull a joke on a friend, family member, or co-worker. The morning team then set up the joke, make the phone call, record it, and play it back on the air at a later time.

Since the prank call of someone impersonating the Queen of England, and the resulting suicide of the nurse who took the call, people have been questioning the practice. Several people emailed the morning team saying they should stop.  Others said they shouldn't have started it at all.

Because Scott, Jolynn and Jake truly care what their listeners think, they opened the subject up to their audience.  While there were those who said it should be stopped, there were several callers who said no, it's all in fun, keep "Simonizing" people.

And as the morning team was quick to explain, they never mean any harm, they always stop the joke before someone gets too upset, (if they do), and most importantly, they get everyone's permission to air the end result on the radio.

To be honest, I'm not sure yet whether the "Simonizing" will continue; the mall shooting has been the current subject since then.  We'll have to see, once things settle down and get back into a normal routine.

And The Award Goes To...

(A quick note:  I've provided a word for today, however it may not work.  My fault, I forgot to give the words to Jake before he left for Nashville; my apologies to all.)

(Today's word will be in red and bold.)

Halloween is over, though in country music, artists, songwriters, producers and others in the industry are waiting to see if they'll garner even bigger treats.

Yes, it's that time of year again, time for the CMA Awards.  The 46th year of this program airs tonight on ABC.  Once again, Carrie Underwood and Brad Paisley will host the show.  There will also be plenty of performances and presentations during the three hour event.

What culminates on this one day however has actually been going on all week.  Radio personalities from all four corners of the U.S. have descended on Nashville, to interview country artists and nominees.  KUPL's own Earthquake Jake, and Wrongway Danny Dwyer were sent to do this task for the station.  Their interviews with various artists have been running during the "Simon in the Morning" program yesterday and today.  The ones I've heard have been very entertaining and some downright funny.

Hopefully tonight's broadcast of the 46th Annual CMA Awards will be equally as enjoyable.

Kenny Chesney & Going Bald

(Today's KUPL Listener Blog word is in the post below this one.)

By now anyone who listens to country has heard Kenny Chesney's latest single, "Come Over".  For those who haven't though, I'll add the video in this post:

I know I'm not the only one who, upon hearing this song for the first time, heard the lyrics differently.  There are very few people who *don't* hear "COMB over", instead of  "COME over".  The fact that Chesney himself is bald just adds to the humor of the mix up.  When things get stuck in my head, I have to do something about it; in this case, it was to rewrite "Come Over", to "Comb Over". 

As I always do, I worked over each line of the song, trying to come up with a new story, while still keeping the rhythm and rhyme of the original tune.  When I had it done, I did what I usually do, sent it to Scott, Jolynn and Jake, from KUPL's "Simon in the Morning" show.  By now they've gotten used to my craziness, and take it in stride.

With this rewrite though, Jake emailed me and said once the real song was higher up the charts, he wanted to have the parody done professionally!   WOW!!!   And that's exactly what happened; when "Come Over" hit the top five of the country charts Jake sent it off to be produced.  Before that however, he explained that most parodies don't use every line of the actual song.  He edited out some parts, and tweaked a few of the lines, to tighten them up; my first parody co-write!  I thought that was really cool!

This morning, I got an email from Jake, with the audio of  "Comb Over" attached; the parody had come to life!  I loved it, and was thrilled to hear something I'd had a hand in actually being performed.  I emailed Jake, thanking him for all his help with "Comb Over", and asked if I could write a post about it.  He said of course, then asked if my blog supports audio; bummer, it doesn't, so back to the drawing board I went.

In the meantime, unbeknownst to me, Jake was working up something of his own.  This afternoon, I got another email from Jake, with a link to a video he'd made for our parody!  Because of that, I'm now able to share with readers Jake's and my song rewrite, "Comb Over".  Please let us know what you think!

Simon in the Morning's "Hunger Games"

Twice a day for the past week, the "Simon in the Morning" show has been hosting their version of the "Hunger Games".

Each morning at 6:20am, and 8:20am, Scott, Jolynn and Jake would announce two "districts", (zip codes), to compete against each other.  One caller from each zip code would call in and be given a type of food to name off.  Each person would name a food from that day's category, and the first person to take longer than 5 seconds was eliminated.

My zip code was announced at 6:20 Tuesday morning, so I called, and actually got through.  I and the person I was pitted against had to come up with various ways to prepare eggs.

I don't remember all the types we came up with, except the other person did say "candied" eggs at one point.   No one was sure what that meant, however, I thought it could mean the candy eggs like you get at Easter.  The last type I mentioned was "poached", and the other person couldn't come up with another type, so she was eliminated.

I was excited that I'd qualified for the trip to see Taylor Swift in Ontario, Canada; however, did I really think I'd win the grand prize?  No, I didn't.  I knew I'd have a 1 in 10 chance, however, I just didn't think it would happen.

On Friday, the final two were qualified for the grand prize, and a few minutes later Scott, Jolynn and Jake were to announce the grand prize winner.

I know that when a winner is picked, it takes time to call them, get it recorded for playback on the air, etc.  That usually means a winner is picked and called right away.  I was at work, waiting to start my day, and my phone wasn't ringing, so I knew I wasn't going to be the winner.  The longer the phone didn't ring, the more certain I was I didn't win.

All of a sudden though, my phone DID ring, and it was an outside line.  The caller ID was KUPL's number!  So, I answered the phone, and there they were on the other side of the line, Scott, Jolynn and Jake!  They asked if I knew why they were calling and I said I thought so; then Jolynn said, yeah, they'd just called to talk with me and tell me who'd won the contest.

 Normally it's hard to pull anything over on me; I'm not a trusting person, and don't take things at face value.  In this case though, already having it in my mind that I wasn't going to win, the length of time it took for the phone call, and the fact that I'm always giving them a bad time, (teasing), I figured maybe they really HAD called just to tell me who the winner had been!  I was totally suckered on that, and I give them kudos for getting me good!

As it turns out, *I* AM the grand prize winner to go see Taylor Swift in Ontario, Canada!!!  The whole process of picking the grand prize winner was even the subject of the Simon 90 video for the day.

Needless to say, that was around 9am; I haven't quite been the same since!  I honestly don't think I really breathed for about 2 hours after I found out I'd won! 

I know I can get very excited about things, so instead of rambling on and on about it from now, until the day of the show, I've told everyone I work with, all my friends and  family, if I start getting hyper again, I'll just say "EEK!"  Translation:  "I'm sooooooooooooo excited!", and leave it at that.  After all, winning is one thing, however I'd like to keep my family, friends and co-workers; not drive them away!

Tracy Lawrence--"Pills"

(Today's word will be in red, and bold.)


Until now, it's been a few years since country artist, Tracy Lawrence, has had a new song on the radio.

That changed in the early part of this year, when Lawrence released "Pills"; a tongue in cheek song about all the pills people take for any myriad of reasons, from losing weight, to gaining it, and every other possible reason in between.

I'd only heard the song a couple times on KUPL's overnight show, but it struck a chord with me instantly. This song says exactly how I feel about all different kinds of medications being peddled to the public these days. There's constantly ads in every form of media touting this drug or that one, etc., etc., etc. For quite awhile I've thought, "enough already!"

I decided then that I would write a post here about Lawrence's "Pills", and let readers decide what they think of the tune. I ran into a little problem though.

The song is too new to have an "official" video yet, so no luck there. I did learn that even though "Pills" has just been released as a single, it seems to have been around since approximately 2009; as I found some live videos that people had recorded at concerts. None of these suited what I was wanting though; I wanted to let readers hear the exact version of the song I'd heard on the radio.

Since I couldn't find what I wanted, but still wanted to post a blog about the song, I emailed Earthquake Jake, explained my situation, and asked if he had any suggestions for what I could do. That was about 7am in the morning.

About 2:30pm that same day, (April 11, 2012), I received and email from Sputnik, (producer on "Simon in the Morning"), with a link to this video:


Is that not awesome?! Totally blew me away that Jake and Sputnik did this so I could write a post about Tracy Lawrence's song! And they did it on top of their normal daily workload!

Because of them, I was able to tell others about this song, and share it as well. So, take a listen, and see what you think. And when you're done, maybe send Jake and Sputnik an email, or give them a call at the station and let them know how cool they are. I know I owe both of them a huge thank you for taking the time and effort I know they had to have put into this video; so thanks guys!

Two for Three and One for One

On January 4, 2010, "Simon & Sam in the Morning" signed on the KUPL airwaves for the very first time.

At that time, it was Scott Simon, Amy "Sam" Bishop, and Jolynn Winter.

The new morning team had their work cut out for them, to say the least. They were stepping into territory that had been occupied for fourteen years by Lee Rogers. To say the least, many, many listeners were not happy about this.

For a time "Simon & Sam" struggled to gain the support of listeners. Some had completely tuned out KUPL, in protest of the changes that had been made; others stuck it out a bit longer, with some eventually leaving as well.

Four months into "Simon & Sam" being on the air, "Sam" decided to leave and go back to Arizona, where she was from originally.

The show title was changed to "Simon in the Morning", and long time KUPL employee, Earthquake Jake, was brought in to take "Sam"'s place.

Jake has always been a favorite of KUPL listeners, and he fit in well with Scott and Jolynn.

The three hit it off immediately on the air. What had once sounded forced with "Sam", was genuine with the reformed "Simon in the Morning" team.

Two years later, it's the same way. You can hear it in their voices on the air, how well they work together and genuinely like each other. I don't know about anyone else, however, for me, the people on the air are almost more important than the music. Granted, I have to like the music I'm listening to; though if the DJ's aren't good, I'd change the station. Never happens in the mornings anymore with me. There's so much going on between 5 and 10 am weekday mornings on KUPL, you almost forget there are songs being played also!

So here's to a very happy second anniversary of "Simon in the Morning" and hoping for many more!

On a side note, January 3, 2012 was the first anniversary of now producer, Eduard "Sputnik" Rusu, joining the morning team.

Eduard was an intern when he started with KUPL, and has since been hired as part of the morning team. Congratulations, and happy first anniversary to Sputnik as well!

Birthday Fun

(Note: The word for today is supposed to be red, in all caps. Unable to do that, so please look for the BOLD, italic, word with a strikethrough. That is today's 5,000 point word.)


I’ve always loved birthdays; friends, family, and especially my own. I share my birthday with my Uncle Dean; though we’re enough years apart that we didn’t ever have to actually “share” the day.

To some people, their birthday is just another day of the year. For the most part, I suppose they’re right. It just means you’re another year older. I’ve never really looked at birthdays that way however; I’ve always seen them as that person’s day, their day to do what they want, all day. That’s what I do for my birthday, find something I really want to do and do it, even if I do nothing.

This year, I asked a HUGE favor of the “Simon in the Morning” team; I asked if I could come in on Friday, August 12, and hang out for the whole show. The answer was yes, so I showed up at the Pacwest Center at 4:45 am, ready to hang out in the studio for the next few hours.

At the time, I never mentioned it was my birthday; I didn’t feel it was necessary. I knew it was my birthday, and I knew that’s why I wanted to hang out at KUPL, it wasn’t important that anyone else knew. Darned Facebook though, it busted me! Jake was checking Facebook for various things, and discovered my BIRTHDAY listed there for that day, ACK!

Despite that, I had a blast just hanging out watching the morning team work. They even put me on the air to do celebrity birthdays during “Simon’s Celebrity Soup”.

Originally they were going to do another game for listeners to win a prize, though it got changed along the way to a “Country Music Throwdown”, between Scott and me. The rules were, there were questions about country music and artists; if Scott won, the listener who’d called in would lose. If *I* won, the listener won; no pressure there, EEK!!!

Luckily I won!!! Though Scott did get one question that I *should* have known, (actually I did know, I just went blank at that moment; very frustrating!!!). And I guess one question really was a “throw away”. Really, of all people, if *I* didn’t know David Lee Murphy’s birthday, I’d have to give up my title, (and license plate), of DLM Fan!

This is an old photo of my plates, they really are current through 2011!

Before leaving the station, I also got roped in to being part of that day’s “Simon 90”, though I don’t like being in front of any kind of camera.

Over all, as I said, I had a BLAST! It was like being able to go play at the “cool kid’s house”, instead of hanging out at home.

So, thank you Scott, Jolynn and Jake for letting me do that; it made my birthday a special one I’ll always remember.

Never Thought It Would Go This Far...

It's been about a month since the "Simon in the Morning" team had a discussion about cartoons, cartoon voices and the Muppets. At the time the whole thing got jumbled around in my head, until I finally did something about it; I created caricatures of Scott, Jolynn and Jake.

From the beginning, (jokingly), Scott has always commented on how his caricature is shorter and wider than Jolynn or Jake.  At one point, I decided to "give in" to Scott and make him taller and thinner.  So, I wrote another blog and introduced readers to the "taller, thinner Scott Simon".  Basically, I put the head of Scott's caricature on the body of Jake's caricature, thus making Scott taller and thinner.  I didn't stop there however.  I also noticed that Jolynn and Jake have hair, and Scott doesn't.  So I took the hair from Jolynn's caricature and added it to the taller, thinner Scott Simon.

Thought that was the end of it, until I was talking to B-Dub at the Kenny Chesney pre-party.  He asked my name, and when I told him, he said, "you're the one that created the caricatures; where's mine?"  I told B-Dub I'd see what I could do, which I did, and sent it to him.

I'd also created a caricature for Eduard, the new producer of "Simon in the Morning".

After that, I decided I definitely needed to create caricatures of Lola and TicTak; didn't want to leave them out when the other on air staff had caricatures.  Got those done, and sent them off to Lola, TicTak and the morning team.

Of course, the first thing Scott noticed is that he was still the widest, (actually, he said shortest and widest; however, he and Lola's caricatures are the same height).

At that point, I figured that was the end of it; not quite.  The morning team posted the pics of Lola and TicTak on the KUPL Facebook page; and Lola also posted hers on her page.

Because of all this, now is the time to post what I've been working on since Scott first mentioned being wider and shorter.  I'd told him, if I did my caricature, it would definitely be shorter and wider than his, because I *am* shorter and wider than Scott!

With that said, here it is, the caricature of ME!

The Taller, Thinner Scott Simon

Little did I know that creating caricatures of people would go so far.

In a previous blog I'd written how the idea for "Muppet" characters for the "Simon in the Morning" team got stuck in my head.  Wouldn't go away until I did something about it.  The "something" was to create the caricatures, using Paint Shop Pro 7.

Once they were done, I sent the caricatures to Scott, Jolynn and Jake.  That's when Scott noticed that his caricature was shorter and wider than the other two. 

It's been kind of a running joke since then about Scott being shorter and wider.  Well, last Saturday I decided to do justice to Scott, and make his caricature taller and thinner.  While I was at it, I decided to throw in a bonus for Scott, a little something that I noticed he didn't have; but Jolynn and Jake did; HAIR!

Take a look and see what you think of the "new" Scott Simon.

Declan Turns 1 Year Old!

It's been said, the older you get, the faster time goes by.  It's true, it doesn't seem like it's been a year since Jake and Shannon had their baby, Declan.

I remember when Jake first let KUPL's listening audience know he and Shannon were having a baby; he was so excited.  That excitement never died either.  Like any expectant parent, Jake couldn't wait for his baby boy to make his appearance. 

Then little Declan decided it was time to enter into the world.  Jake called in to "Simon in the Morning"  to let everyone know he and Shannon were waiting to have the baby any time; and abruptly had to hang up when Declan was ready to be born.

Because of Declan's birth, Jake was unable to go up against champion eater, Joey Chestnut that day on "Studio 6".  Given the circumstances, I'm sure he was okay with that. 

After a few days off, Jake returned to "Simon in the Morning", and told listeners about Declan being born; about missing the challenge with Joey Chestnut; and about how when he brought Shannon and Declan home that Saturday, he got them in the house and literally turned around and headed out the door to the coast to compete in a rib eating contest.  Yes, Shannon was okay with it.

One of the pictures Jake posted on his KUPL blog when he returned to work was of Declan and himself, when he was a baby.  You can definitely tell Declan is his daddy's little boy!  (Declan's on the left.)

The past year, listeners have been able to hear how Declan's grown, the milestones of crawling, walking, everything. In addition, those reading Jake's blog, (on KUPL's website), have been able to watch Declan grow, through pictures and videos Jake's posted. Every time Jake talks about his little boy, you can hear the pride in his voice.

Declan at six months old.

One of my favorite pictures Jake posted of Declan is this one...He's such a cute little boy!!

Listeners have also been included in helping Jake with questions he has about parenting.  Today for example, the show took calls, and Facebook posts giving Jake advice on what mistakes not to make with raising Declan.    

It's been fun listening about and watching Declan grow through Jake's eyes. Again, it's hard to believe it's already been a year; it really does seem like it was just yesterday.  It's funny the things one remembers when it comes to certain events.  This blog is what I remember of the time leading up to Declan's birth and the year since then. 

So, happy 1st birthday Declan!  Keep up the great job of giving your daddy something to share with KUPL listeners!



ANYONE LOOKING FOR A CUTE, CUDDLY KITTEN TO ADOPT?

A week or so ago, Jolynn told listeners of “Simon in the Morning”, that her 8 year-old cat, Killian, had disappeared.  She’s fairly sure Killian won’t be back, despite Psychic Alice telling her he will be.  Jolynn thinks a coyote got her cat.

Because of this, Jolynn went looking for a new kitten, and found a Manx one in Colton, Oregon.

Since then, she’s been trying to figure out a name for the kitten.  The subject was even a part of this morning’s “Simon in the Morning” show.

One name Jolynn thought of was “Colton”, for where the kitten came from.  Listeners called in with other possible names, Like “Roadrunner”, (in reference to the coyotes around Jolynn’s place). 

In the end, Jolynn has five names she’s leaning towards:  Colton, Bob Jr., Stubby, Rumpy Stillskin, and Coal.  No word yet on what the final name will be.

In the meantime, the person Jolynn got the kitten from, Terra, still has six other kittens that are looking for homes.  Only Jolynn's is a Manx cat; the rest all have tails.

Anyone wanting a kitten will have to travel to Colton, (near Molalla), to pick it up.  The cost is $10 per kitten, with the money going towards getting Terra’s mama cat spayed.

If you’re interested, contact Jolynn at jolynn@kupl.com, and she'll help you.

THE GREAT 4TH OF JULY FOOD FIGHT

Everyone knows that America celebrates its independence on July 4^th.  We celebrate all the freedoms we have; all the choices we can make in this great nation. 

  Freedom of choice was the main topic of this morning’s “Simon in the Morning” show.  It started over a debate whether burgers or hot dogs were the “official” food for Independence Day.  Jolynn said they needed to add chicken to the vote, since that’s what she prefers.  Jake insisted that the 4^th of July means burgers, rather than hot dogs.  He really didn’t want to add chicken into it, but grudgingly did. 

 Listeners had to choose from one of those three choices.  Even then, people were calling in with other options, besides the original three.  Someone pointed out that brats are different than hot dogs; so which was it that the morning team meant?  Someone else said they have pulled pork sandwiches at their 4^th of July celebration.

 It was pretty funny to listen to, especially when anyone voted for chicken.  By the time the show was almost done, Jake said it really didn’t matter which food won the fight, as long as it wasn’t chicken.  At that point that was his goal, for chicken to lose.  Of course, it was all in fun.

 I really liked Scott’s solution best; make all three.  Why not?  Isn’t that what freedom is all about?  Why limit it to just burgers, hot dogs and chicken?  What about steak, or fish and seafood?  Heck, anymore, you can make an entire meal on a grill, the main dish, side dishes and dessert. 

 So, my thought is, on this day of celebrating freedom, why put limits on what kind of food to serve?  Enjoy the day and the freedom to eat anything you want

THE 12 MONTHS & SHOWS OF REALITY CHRISTMAS

Wednesday on "Simon in the Morning", they had a segment asking listeners what type of reality show would they be best at.  For the life of me, I couldn't think of anything for myself, except maybe "Useless Trivia 24/7". 

What I did think of though was something I wrote a few years ago.  I don't remember how I got the idea, however, since I still have it, I've decided to share it on my blog.  I know it's been awhile ago, since some of the shows aren't on the air any more. 

With that said, I now present, "The 12 Months & Shows of Reality Christmas".

(Names of shows below represent what each Christmas show is patterned after; actual names will differ.)

(Shows run concurrently, starting the day after Thanksgiving and ending on Thanksgiving Day of the next year.)

   1.      Manhunt—To find the perfect Santa Claus.

    2.      The Bachelor—The new Santa picks his perfect Mrs. Claus.

    3.      Pimp My Ride—To customize Santa’s sleigh.

     4.      Extreme Makeover—To make the new Mr. & Mrs. Claus even more

                                            believable.

     5.      The Apprentice—The new Santa chooses which teams of elves-{hundreds,

                              but only show key elves}-continue on and which gets fired.

6.   Fear Factor—Elves must prove their abilities in various ways.

7.      The Amazing Race—All elves from the winning teams must split into new

                                            teams, then race to the North Pole.  At each pit stop Santa

                                            will eliminate a team of elves.

      8.      Survivor—All elves not eliminated will have to prove their survival skills at the

                           North Pole, or be eliminated.

9.      Big Brother—All remaining elves, along with Mr. & Mrs. Claus, have to prove

                                      they can survive together when snowed in at the North Pole.  Will

                                     also have to learn how to care for reindeer, make toys, etc.  More

                                     eliminations.

    10.  What Not To Wear—All final winning elves, along with Mr. & Mrs. Claus, get

                                               a complete fashion makeover.

       11.  Monster House—Santa  & Mrs. Claus, along with the elves, get their living

                                            space made over into the ultimate Christmas themed home.

          12. The Ulitmate Reality--All winners from the previous 11 shows
                                                      appear together in the Macy's Thanksgiving
                                                       Day parade.

                                            

Bonus Show—Unlucky #13

   13.  Cops--Santa and the elves are arrested for passing out black market toys to little children. It's a federal offense crossing state and international lines.  Meanwhile, Mrs. Claus is taken in to custody for putting a little too much "joy" in her brownies.

           

                             

       



Twisted, Tangled Tunes

The other day, during the "Celebrity Soup", on "Simon in the Morning", Scott Simon had a blurb about Weird Al Yankovic.  According to the report, Weird Al has parodied some country songs on his next CD.

The story reminded me of a song rewrite I did awhile ago.  The song is Alan Jackson's "5 O'Clock Somewhere", with Jimmy Buffett.

In my version, I had country song parody artist, Cledus T. Judd doing Alan Jackson's lines, and Weird Al doing Jimmy Buffett's.

In light of the news about Weird Al's latest CD, I've decided to post my parody of "5 O'Clock Somewhere" on this blog.

My apologies in advance for the size of the print.  I couldn't make it any larger, and still have it fit the blog.

THE VERBAL ABUSE OF WORDS

This morning’s “Simon in the Morning” program had a segment on words that are hard for people to pronounce; and asked people to call in with words that are hard for them to say.  For example, Scott has a problem with saying the word, “regularly”.   For Jolynn, it’s Terwilliger, as in the Terwilliger curves.

People were calling in with different words they have trouble saying:  literally, February, ambulance, orange, negligee, linoleum, and others.  Mine is dominoes.  Unless I *really* think about it, I always say “donimoes” instead.

The topic kind of branched out from words that are hard to say, to words that are mispronounced.  Like “Washington”; a lot of people say “Warshington”.   I’ll get to my theory on why this is a bit later in the post.

Someone called and mentioned Couch Street in Portland.  Even though it’s spelled “couch”, (like what you would sit on, pronounced “cow-ch”), the street name is actually pronounced “coo-ch”. 

Of course there’s always “Willamette”, (as in the Willamette River).  The correct pronunciation is “Will-lamb-it”.  Over the years that word has been mispronounced too many ways to list here.  The most common mispronunciation though is, “Will-ah-met-E”.

This whole thing got me to thinking of when my son was little.  He had no problem saying words like “cinnamon”, “aluminum”, “linoleum”, or “Massachusetts”.  However, “breakfast”, “accident”, and “Mexican” were a whole other story.  His pronunciation was always, “breskfast”, “askident”, and “Meskadin”.   At the time he also aspired to be an Izzy’s Pizza “superbiser”. 

One of the funniest things he ever said though was when he was 10 years old, and sound asleep.

It was late at night, and I was on the computer, looking for photos to make a calendar.  My son comes walking into the living room and says, “oh, it’s that guy”.  I ask what guy, he says, “that guy”, (pointing at the computer screen), “Lavid Me Durphy”.  I ask, who again; my son says, (very agitated), “that guy you like, Lavid Me Durphy”. 

At that point it clicked in my head, and I say to him, “oh, you mean David Lee Murphy”.  My son gets very cranky at this point and says, “that’s what I said, LAVID ME DURPHY.  Didn’t you hear me?  I’m going back to bed”, and he did. 

The next morning he didn’t remember ever getting out of bed, or saying “Lavid Me Durphy”, instead of “David Lee Murphy”.  To this day, he can’t say “Lavid Me Durphy” unless he really concentrates on saying it that way.  Yet, sound asleep; he had no problem saying it three times!  

My theory of how the letter “r” gets in to words where it doesn’t belong is simple.

If you listen to people from the east, like Virginia, Massachusetts, etc., a lot of their words that *should* end with an “r”, don’t.  Like “car”, they say “ca”.

I think, somewhere, a long time ago, a very strong wind came blowing in from the east.  It blew all the “r”’s into the Midwest, (like Nebraska, were my grandparents are from).  Those “r”’s got mixed in with their words, like “wash”, making it “warsh”, (that was a big one with my grandma, and my dad still does it).  In the meantime, those in Virginia, Massachusetts, etc., lost those “r”’s, which is why their words come out with no “r”’s on the end.

When people, like my grandparents, moved west, to this area, they brought the extra “r”’s with them; that’s why some people around here say “Warshington”, and stuff.  Just a theory, as I said. 

One word  mispronounced by people everywhere is:  sandwich.  I don’t know how many people I’ve heard over the years say, “sam-witch”, or even worse, “sam-itch”.  ARGH!!!  Drives me crazy!

Before I get too far into THAT subject though, I’ll stop for now, and save it for another time.

IF YOU'RE STILL HERE, RAISE YOUR HAND

Well, I guess since I’m posting a new blog, I’m still here.  And if you’re reading this blog, you must still be here also. 

Listening to “Simon in the Morning” on my way to work, something was mentioned about those who didn’t experience the rapture not knowing it happened.  Judging from the amount of traffic I encountered, I’m guessing not too many people went through it! 

Also heard on the news, Harold Camping isn’t saying anything about his prediction not coming true.  Here’s my question…If Mr. Camping knew this was going to happen, why is HE still here?  Hmmm…What does that say about this person, if HE was the one to tell everyone, yet, HE wasn’t taken himself? 

I said this in my last blog, and I’ll say it again…NO ONE knows when they’re going to die…There’s a reason for that.  So, instead of worrying about it…Enjoy life while you’re here.

THINGS FROM CHILDHOOD THAT DEFINE US

Yesterday’s “Simon in the Morning” show had a segment about things from our childhood that have defined who we are now.

For instance, Jake told about having to lie to get into the fair one year.  It bothered him so much, not only did he not have fun that day, years later he still follows all rules very strictly. 

That got me to thinking about what defines some of the things in my life.  The first thing I thought of is an irrational thought I’ve had for over 40 years now, all because of the program “Night Gallery”.  I was probably about 10 when I saw the episode, and to be honest, I really don’t remember exactly what it was about, other than there was a spider involved.

What I remember is this guy trying to wash a spider down his kitchen sink.  The spider would go down the drain; then come back.  After a bit, you noticed that each time the spider came back, it got a little bigger and hairier.  At one point the guy had trouble getting the spider down the drain, (it was about the size of a small Chihuahua by then), but he managed to do it, and it didn’t come back.

The next thing I remember about the show is the guy going into his bedroom, and here’s this HUGE spider that attacks him.

I know it’s just TV; a spider doesn’t really grow like on “Night Gallery”.  Does this mean that I wash spiders down the drain? NOT A CHANCE!!!

If I ever have problems with a spider in a sink, I just let it be, (though I do keep an eye on it).  As much as I really don’t like spiders, (okay, let’s face it, I HATE spiders!), and don’t want them around, I just can’t wash them down the drain.  In the back of my mind I always remember that “Night Gallery” episode. 

I realize this is TOTALLY irrational thinking, yet, I won’t do it.  In fact, if anyone else washes a spider down the drain while I’m around, (like my son did once), I make sure to let the spider know it wasn’t ME that did it! 

I know there’s someone out there probably saying, “just scoop the spider out of the sink”…NO WAY!!! That would involve me actually getting NEAR a spider….EEEEEWWWWWW!!!!

So, in conclusion, I guess it wasn’t “Night Gallery” that made me afraid of spiders.  It just made my fear of them in sinks worse.  You’d think I’d be over it after 40+ years…But I’m not.  I don’t honestly see it happening anytime soon as a matter of fact. 

Simon in the Morning-4-19-11--Favorite Tim McGraw Songs

Yesterday's “Simon in the Morning” show reminded me just how much I sometimes see things differently than the rest of the world.

Listeners were asked to either call KUPL, or post on the “Simon in the Morning” Facebook page, their favorite Tim McGraw song.  Near the end of the show, the votes were tallied and a list of the top 5 Tim McGraw songs was compiled.

When I heard the #1 listener voted song, “Live Like You Were Dying”, I realized I wouldn’t have chosen that song; it wouldn’t have even crossed my mind.  For as sentimental and caring as I am, for some reason I tend to shy away from songs like this one.  I have no idea why. 

It got me to thinking of other songs that were big hits that I just didn’t understand how it could be.  
The first song I thought of was “Amazed” by Lonestar, which was a huge hit.  To me, it’s okay, though their cover of Marc Cohen’s “Walkin’ in Memphis” is a song I like much better.  Also, Lonestar had a minor hit with the song “Mountains”; another song I like even more than “Amazed”.

Then there’s the late Chris LeDoux.  In my opinion, just about everything Chris recorded is underrated. This point is emphasized by the song, “Life is a Highway”.  Most people know the Rascal Flatts version from the movie “Cars”.  However, Chris had a minor hit with the song well before Rascal  Flatts recorded it.  Though the Flatts’ version is good, I still like Chris’ better.

Of course, before Chris LeDoux, the writer of “Life is a Highway", Tom Cochrane had a minor hit with it in 1991.  No offense to Tom, but I really don’t like his version at all. 

Even when it comes to my all-time favorite country artist, David Lee Murphy, I have to be honest…I’ve never quite understood how “Dust on the Bottle" became a #1 hit; yet “Party Crowd” and “Loco” didn’t.  “Dust on the Bottle” just isn’t one of my favorite DLM songs, while I love both “Party Crowd” and “Loco”.

I could ramble on and on about any number of songs I like; and how most of them are ones others probably wouldn’t choose to be a hit.  I’ll end this for now though, secure in the knowledge that the tuba player I follow is still within my sight.  :)